That burning feeling,
I can’t sleep at night,
Looking at the ceiling,
Had a nice future at sight,
Love couldn’t keep us together,
No fighting to survive,
No talking made it wither,
It went dead after being so alive.. Continue reading “Love is not autistic”
This time it was time to try Abilify, a medicine which is usually used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but which gave remarkable effects with a certain test-group of people with autism according my psychiatrist. It was given to me to treat anxiety and to get me a little bit more open towards communication with others. Continue reading “Abilify, my experience – medicine”
Today something very tragic happened on the train from Antwerpen to Den Haag (train 1222 from 10:36). The conductor went totally out of line, because he assumed I was an east-European guy without a ticket; so it escalated from verbal violence straight to physical violence and an unlawful arrest by the authorities. This is a rough translation.
Conductor: Hey, you there, Ticket!
Me: Ok, moment <while taking off my backpack>
Conductor: No! TICKET NOW!!
Me: hey! May I maybe take it?!
Conductor: I saw you moving from behind to the front, your TICKET NOW IMMEDIATELY!!
Me: I was searching a place to sit and am having a phone call, what is going on?!? Continue reading “Agression by NS personnel on train!”
Dissect my brains, I am ready!
Today was that first day of many, which I was really frightened about. I was never that comfortable with people peeking inside my brain, knowing about my past, present and possible future. This research felt exactly the same as to get ready for that colonoscopy from hell and my bowels were already complaining their way out of that office… Continue reading “The diagnosis of Asperger and ADHD”
Today, I had an appointment on time and had to use the public transportation. Because the public transportation became so crowdy, it is almost impossible to arrive at location without frustrations, a fit and/or a meltdown first.
Mostly I walk through the city, especially for that reason, because most of people don’t bother to move away from the entrance doors, leaving lots of empty space at the seating areas and too overcrowded spots at the doors. Continue reading “Crowded transportation issues”
There it is happening again, a rattling helicopter is hovering above these streets for a few hours. Almost 80dB of sound is echoing through the streets, straight into my apartment. It’s a bit comparable to a monotone noise of construction works next to your door. Continue reading “Rattling Noises pull me down!”
After waiting for a few years, I am finally invited at the Kinsbergen Orientation Center (CoS) at 13:00, for the in-take procedure and was received at the most courteous and relaxed manner. The first talk was very informative towards my girlfriend and me.
This was the moment where I could throw everything out, and let them know I think I am becoming crazy, because I cannot focus, I cannot find structure, I got no time-knowledge, I got anxieties, frustrations, why I was loosing my mind and so much more … Continue reading “Finally, the intake procedure begins!”
Since I moved away from my other apartment, I have been unable to find any good way of structure with only two rooms. My previous apartment had several split rooms, making it easier to divide paperwork and tasks. My structural needs are becoming bigger than ever. Continue reading “Am I becoming crazy?!”
This article has been written in 2003 and will superseded soon with “Living with ADHD, 13 years later”. There are a few (cosmetic) changes, tips and techniques changed to this article in 2016. Most of the situational details have been changed over the years, which will be discussed in the new article. In 2003, there was not yet a diagnose of autism, which resulted this text to be a mix of ADHD and autistic treats.
Sorry for that. I am not a psychologist.
My way of living (with ADHD)?
A lot of people knowing me think I am weird …
This is partially because I am very straightforward; I am humorist most of the times, got a mood when I wake up (like anyone else) and have different moods during the day. I am sleepy at undefined times and restless at night. Loose things very fast, am very creative, like to do things “my way”. I am very righteous and very neutral in reactions, I am very easy distracted, have currently 14 windows open and am doing multiple things at the same time …
Continue reading “My way of living (with ADHD)”
My phone rang around ten in the morning about two years ago and received the dreadful diagnose of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). The result was to be expected, because my mom has ADHD in a heavy degree.
The doctor also suspected ASS (Autism Spectrum Syndrome) but had to be tested first before that conclusion could be taken. The thought that I could be autistic was scaring me at first. Continue reading “The first diagnose of ADHD”
My life as autist 