The Master Key: Why Music Reaches Me When a Hug Cannot

The Master Key: Why Music Reaches Me When a Hug Cannot

Writer’s note: After a long, unexpected break from blogging, I am stepping back into this space. Thank you to those who are here to listen, connect, and explore the deep complexities of the autistic mind with me.

So, Do you know what frisson is?

I didn’t know until I was searching for an explanation of an emotion I call “deeply crying inside.” This feeling always gets triggered when I listen to the violin and contrabass. I get the exact same reaction when listening to a live choir, to the extent that I could literally cry.

This profound connection to sound was probably one of the reasons why I was a DJ for over a decade; I realized this emotional energy was transferable to a crowd. Maybe I even need to start doing that again, while I still have the full use of my ears…

High-functioning autism often causes an intense emotional and physical reaction to music known as frisson. This is characterized by hyper-connectivity between the auditory and emotional processing centers in the brain. Stringed instruments like the contrabass and violin mimic human vocal emotional frequencies, triggering this deep reaction and leading to profound emotional releases. It is most often triggered by strings and choral music. Specific musical elements, such as the human vocal range (150–4,000 Hz), tense appoggiaturas (notes that create temporary musical tension), and resonant low frequencies, trigger these profound responses. Tracks like Max Richter’s “On the Nature of Daylight” and Hans Zimmer’s “Time” utilize these exact techniques to create intense, “bittersweet” experiences.


So, is it crying of happiness or because it just sounds sad?

It can actually be both at the same time, or something even deeper.
This feeling often blurs the lines between joy and sorrow. Here is why the brain processes it this way:

1. High Aesthetic Appreciation [1, 2, 3]

* It is often “crying of happiness” from pure beauty.
* Psychologists call this a “kama muta” experience.
* It means being deeply moved by a connection.
* The brain experiences a profound awe of the sound.
* This intense awe overflows into physical tears.

2. The Comfort of Sad Music [4, 5, 6, 7, 8]

* The music may sound objectively sad or melancholic.
* Sad music triggers the release of prolactin.
* Prolactin is a hormone that consoles and calms.
* It mimics the feeling of being wrapped in a hug.
* It creates a safe space to feel deep emotions.

3. Emotional Complexity

* Autistic individuals often experience emotions with immense intensity.
* It’s feeling “bittersweetness” in its purest form.
* It is a mix of grief, beauty, nostalgia, and wonder.
* My DJ background trained my brain to catch these nuances.

Here is a short, punchy section formatted perfectly for your blog. You can copy and paste this right before your final paragraph or add it as a new numbered section.


How the AuDHD Mind Amplifies Frisson

Having a combined blueprint of both Autism and ADHD (AuDHD) creates a perfect storm for experiencing music with this level of physical and emotional intensity. It works through three distinct mechanisms in the brain:

  • The Dopamine Reward Spike: ADHD minds constantly seek dopamine. Powerful musical transitions, like a sudden shift from a low contrabass to a soaring violin, trigger a massive, rapid release of dopamine in the brain’s reward centers, heightening the physical “chills.”

  • Hyper-Focused Auditory Processing: The autistic brain processes sensory data with incredible depth and detail. When listening to a complex arrangement like a symphony, your brain hyper-focuses on the individual layers, frequencies, and vocal nuances that neurotypical ears often filter out.

  • The Emotional Accelerator: While autism provides the deep, direct wiring between sound and emotion, ADHD acts as an emotional accelerator. It makes the transition from hearing a note to physically feeling it happen almost instantly, turning a psychological appreciation of beauty into an immediate physical release of tears.

Merely a track of a gaming score has triggered this response yet again, and that’s how I ended up writing about this on my blog after so many years of silence. I am quite literally feeling the collective human experience through sound. Maybe music has always been my better way to communicate with the world?

Hopefully you enjoy this music as I have enjoyed it myself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6FTmuf-6mY

This YouTube video is the stunning A Plague Tale Requiem: Symphony concert. It features breathtaking, melancholic performances by world-class cellist Eric-Maria Couturier and the two-time Grammy Award-winning Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir, conducting the brilliant compositions of Olivier Derivière. This specific piece is a masterclass in triggering frisson through deep strings and haunting choral arrangements.

[1] [https://www.psychologytoday.com](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-doctor-is-out-and-about/202602/do-happy-tears-exist)

[2] [https://www.thetimes.com](https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/article/science-happy-tears-boost-wellbeing-5b6p0qm5x)

[3] [https://www.theaustralian.com.au](https://www.theaustralian.com.au/health/wellbeing/how-our-happy-tears-help-us-pay-it-forward/news-story/efc22822604cb4b174f26b740cd2e0d1)

[4] [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4513245/)

[5] [https://www.reddit.com](https://www.reddit.com/r/musictheory/comments/dzc47t/why_does_music_that_is_melancholy_and_depressing/)

[6] [https://journals.sagepub.com](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2059204320977384)

[7] [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4203803/)

[8] [https://www.bbc.co.uk](https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish/features/6-minute-english/ep-191107)

Does far-UVC light (and O3) kill SARS-CoV-2?

Does far-UVC light (and O3) kill SARS-CoV-2?

At the end of February, I went on a quest for answers if it was possible to use light in the UVR spectrum [1] to contain and/or kill the spread of the new virus SARS-CoV-2.

The reason for validating my claim was because there are various articles, reports and white-papers available on-line prove that light in the UVC spectrum has a germicidal effect[2] killing pathogens like bacteria, viruses, several protozoa and fungi, after exposing them 15-30 minutes to UVC light, depending their output strength. I wanted to know if this could be a possible help (as buffer) to people with a weakened immune system.

Continue reading “Does far-UVC light (and O3) kill SARS-CoV-2?”

To be prepared or not be..

To be prepared or not be..

“Standing at several crossroads, without any clear routes, So many possible ways to choose, our choice will always be ambiguous.„

To be prepared or not to be,
That should not be a question.

Not enough sleep, stress and external sensory overloads affect several executive functions which makes it often (much) more difficult (or impossible) to focus, memorise, communicate, observe and understand what happens around us.

When this overloads the autistic brain, the fight-or-flight response kicks in delivering hormones that will replace the rational mind by raw and uncontrollable emotions, preventing the possibility to make well balanced and rational decisions.

This can have dire consequences for the future, especially when a choice is (immediately) required and none could be made, resulting in unwanted consequences that affect life.

Continue reading “To be prepared or not be..”

When in meltdown, take care!

When in meltdown, take care!

It is very important that people that are close to a person with autism, to understand how invasive, confronting, uncontrollable, heavy and mentally exhausting a meltdown can be in the human brain. Most meltdowns start with an overdose of (earlier) sensory or stress overloads, which will shut down higher-order brain functions.

In a meltdown, (almost) all executive functions (like reasoning, memory, planning and decision-making) are shut down. Everything gets slower with no focus. Language is affected too and it becomes (almost) impossible to communicate adequately with others using normal structured sentences, while finding the right matching words. The brain becomes (very) chaotic because focus starts to wither. This is a moment where it becomes difficult to find a way out of the situation.

When not able to escape the situation, this neurological chaos in the brain can build up and result in a total internal cognitive shutdown or an explosive outburst, which is quite common during a meltdown. This explosive outburst may seem to come from nowhere, but it is mostly an end-result of an accumulation of sensory, cognitive and emotional overload, which may have started hours or even days earlier. Continue reading “When in meltdown, take care!”

realtime messaging can be wonderful too!

realtime messaging can be wonderful too!

Real-time messaging has been a great invention for many of us, except, when the time is not right, those messages could get more annoying than a wood-workshop at full volume next to the ears, pushing up those stress levels to the limits; Especially when you want to do a task which requires full attention at hand.

Everyone with a smart phone is mostly connected 24/7 to various apps, like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Tumblr and (many) more. This gives the advantage to be reachable at all times, but also brings a burden to be “too much” connected to the on-line world, bringing extra sensory overloads through that (super fast) connection of your phone.

Most people want to (and can) be reachable 24/7, but with autism and ADHD, it has its perks, especially when being in a mental state where there is no more platform to communicate actively with other parties. Most people see real-time messaging as granted and can become mad when you do not respond (in a timely manner) to a message being sent to you, making the anxiety and stress only raise in level.

Continue reading “realtime messaging can be wonderful too!”

Why is it so difficult keeping contact?

Why is it so difficult keeping contact?

I’ve always had that ‘unnatural’ shyness, which is bothering me more, the older I get. A few years ago, I found out it is merely a container-word, for so much more than having a red face and being unable to talk or initiate things.

It’s a container-word with many faces. Anxiety, not knowing how someone reacts, fear of rejection, shyness and often not being able to see or know what somebody thinks of my awkward behavior at that moment.

It creates a lot of friction, because I don’t want to be a bother or a problem to anyone. But yet, it does seem to bother a lot of people, unconsciously.. Continue reading “Why is it so difficult keeping contact?”

Our world is not ready for autism yet..

Our world is not ready for autism yet..

Yesterday, I had this horrible thing happening to me again and it went way quicker than expected. I’ve already felt that the pressure was becoming too much, when my brain started to scream “STOP” towards me, but also to the people around me. It was a truly embarrassing situation, which I had been pushed into!

To avoid over-stimulation and early fatigue, I pre-order every week 2 * 6 liters of biological 3.5% fat milk, because their brand is one of the only ones, which does not turn my stomach and intestinal system into a full war-zone. As many people with autism, I got a condition in my intestinal system. Also, I was quite sick for over a week, with fever and heavy medicines, because of an urinary tract problem, making my left nut being bigger than the size of a Dinosaur-egg! That pain is indescribably high. Continue reading “Our world is not ready for autism yet..”

How I order paperwork structurally?

How I order paperwork structurally?

Now, this one is a heavy one to come out with, because it is something which I am entirely not proud of. Not only is structural order a necessity in every modern house, but it is also the only way, to be able to receive people in a “clean” environment, without getting the instant thought of being a caveman or worse. Paperwork can already make a huge difference in that setting.

Less clutter is less input and will provide more focus, upon the essential. Continue reading “How I order paperwork structurally?”

Autism Spectrum Disorder – factsheet

Autism Spectrum Disorder – factsheet

This is information on a great illustration (see below) which I found at Google images about autism. It has all key-points, while making aware that autism is: (1) not a disease but a disorder, (2) having many types and (3) the umbrella in DSM-5.

A few facts..

1 in 77 children age 3-17 are diagnosed with autism each year, boys are 4 x more likely than girl to have autism. There is a 10 to 17% growth annually in the USA. Autism is the fastest-growing development disorder. Continue reading “Autism Spectrum Disorder – factsheet”

Upcoming articles

Upcoming articles

This is a temporary post, noticing you that there will be a lot more to write about…

If you got a specific topic which you got questions about, feel free to ask below and I will most likely add it to the list. Expect these topics to come up soon:

  • 90% of our inventions are made by autists?
  • Why is it so difficult to keep contact or friends?
  • Relationships, how does it work?
  • Creativity, my source of  tranquility!
  • Comedy, my way of communication
  • Restaurants, busy places and me…
  • Going to university, a total horror story
  • Whatever happens, stay positive!
  • Loud sounds, a love-hate relationship
  • When aggression gets too much for me
  • When medicines are not enough
  • Anxiety and Alprazolam – Medicine

Have a nice day!

How are you? Those dreadful words!

How are you? Those dreadful words!

It happens almost every time, when meeting someone I know and getting that first word which is Hi and I already know what the next question is going to be. It are those hidden rules of communication and social engagement, which are totally not hidden at all, but yet, not entirely understood. Because, depending on my answer to that question the rest of the conversation will either drastically change or it will just finish with a smile and a goodbye.. Continue reading “How are you? Those dreadful words!”

Touch – Movie Quotes

“Human beings are hardwired to connect, we are drawn to one another by our own chemistry. We produce attachment hormones that create intimacy, we build neural bridges that bound us, brain to brain, heart to heart.

Those bounds, once formed, are not meant to be broken.”

“Our brains, our entire nervous systems are designed for us to form deep lasting bounds. When those connections are broken, bad things can happen”

— Movie quotes source: Touch

How do I grasp time?

How do I grasp time?

There’s always a great pun with me and idioms about time. A lot of people say that time flies, every second counts, time is money and other taglines. That’s all too great, if I had any concept of time! Especially when someone says to me “wait a minute”, I get that smile on my face and instantly think: “how long do you want that minute to be?”… Continue reading “How do I grasp time?”