Our world is not ready for autism yet..

Yesterday, I had this horrible thing happening to me again and it went way quicker than expected. I’ve already felt that the pressure was becoming too much, when my brain started to scream “STOP” towards me, but also to the people around me. It was a truly embarrassing situation, which I had been pushed into!

To avoid over-stimulation and early fatigue, I pre-order every week 2 * 6 liters of biological 3.5% fat milk, because their brand is one of the only ones, which does not turn my stomach and intestinal system into a full war-zone. As many people with autism, I got a condition in my intestinal system. Also, I was quite sick for over a week, with fever and heavy medicines, because of an urinary tract problem, making my left nut being bigger than the size of a Dinosaur-egg! That pain is indescribably high. Continue reading “Our world is not ready for autism yet..” →

A full meltdown in detail ..

There it was, end of May, I had a total thermo-nuclear meltdown. I had this only about a dozen times before in my life, but when it hits me, it hits me really hard.

I had many symptoms which make me a bit worried, but which explains a lot of things which happened in the past too. Continue reading “A full meltdown in detail ..” →

Coping with (insane) stress levels

The mind is a strange but beautiful organ, which can do great things. Mine works great and different, with a high IQ when there is no stress at all. But as soon as that demon called stress comes knocking on my door, the house starts to shake on it’s grounds.

If there is one thing which I cannot state enough about this demon, is that stress is disastrous for autism combined with ADHD. When stress gets added to the mix, it has direct effect upon my processing power, sensitivity and thinking processes. My efficiency drops by large amounts the higher the stress becomes, rendering me sometimes not possible to function good in society. Continue reading “Coping with (insane) stress levels” →

How a burn-out felt like

I’ve experienced it as a heavy hammer falling from high on my head, after working for 12 years uninterrupted for 18-22 hours a day. Everything went dark, gray, impossible. Even a conversation with a friend was difficult. Searching for help was impossible, nothing was possible to do anymore. Continue reading “How a burn-out felt like” →

Agression by NS personnel on train!

Today something very tragic happened on the train from Antwerpen to Den Haag (train 1222 from 10:36). The conductor went totally out of line, because he assumed I was an east-European guy without a ticket; so it escalated from verbal violence straight to physical violence and an unlawful arrest by the authorities. This is a rough translation.

Part 1: Yelling to me for my ticket?..

Conductor: Hey, you there, Ticket!
Me: Ok, moment <while taking off my backpack>
Conductor: No! TICKET NOW!!
Me: hey! May I maybe take it?!
Conductor: I saw you moving from behind to the front, your TICKET NOW IMMEDIATELY!!
Me: I was searching a place to sit and am having a phone call, what is going on?!? Continue reading “Agression by NS personnel on train!” →

Crowded transportation issues

Today, I had an appointment on time and had to use the public transportation. Because the public transportation became so crowdy, it is almost impossible to arrive at location without frustrations, a fit and/or a meltdown first.

Mostly I walk through the city, especially for that reason, because most of people don’t bother to move away from the entrance doors, leaving lots of empty space at the seating areas and too overcrowded spots at the doors. Continue reading “Crowded transportation issues” →

My life as autist

Pretending to be normal, story of my life!

Tag: Meltdown