At the end of February, I went on a quest for answers if it was possible to use light in the UVR spectrum  to contain and/or kill the spread of the new virus SARS-CoV-2.
The reason for validating my claim was because there are various articles, reports and white-papers available on-line prove that light in the UVC spectrum has a germicidal effect killing pathogens like bacteria, viruses, several protozoa and fungi, after exposing them 15-30 minutes to UVC light, depending their output strength. I wanted to know if this could be a possible help (as buffer) to people with a weakened immune system.
Continue reading “Does far-UVC light (and O3) kill SARS-CoV-2?” →
“Standing at several crossroads, without any clear routes, So many possible ways to choose, our choice will always be ambiguous.„
To be prepared or not to be,
That should not be a question.
Not enough sleep, stress and external sensory overloads affect several executive functions which makes it often (much) more difficult (or impossible) to focus, memorise, communicate, observe and understand what happens around us.
When this overloads the autistic brain, the fight-or-flight response kicks in delivering hormones that will replace the rational mind by raw and uncontrollable emotions, preventing the possibility to make well balanced and rational decisions.
This can have dire consequences for the future, especially when a choice is (immediately) required and none could be made, resulting in unwanted consequences that affect life.
Continue reading “To be prepared or not be..” →
It is very important that people that are close to a person with autism, to understand how invasive, confronting, uncontrollable, heavy and mentally exhausting a meltdown can be in the human brain. Most meltdowns start with an overdose of (earlier) sensory or stress overloads, which will shut down higher-order brain functions.
In a meltdown, (almost) all executive functions (like reasoning, memory, planning and decision-making) are shut down. Everything gets slower with no focus. Language is affected too and it becomes (almost) impossible to communicate adequately with others using normal structured sentences, while finding the right matching words. The brain becomes (very) chaotic because focus starts to wither. This is a moment where it becomes difficult to find a way out of the situation.
When not able to escape the situation, this neurological chaos in the brain can build up and result in a total internal cognitive shutdown or an explosive outburst, which is quite common during a meltdown. This explosive outburst may seem to come from nowhere, but it is mostly an end-result of an accumulation of sensory, cognitive and emotional overload, which may have started hours or even days earlier. Continue reading “When in meltdown, take care!” →
Real-time messaging has been a great invention for many of us, except, when the time is not right, those messages could get more annoying than a wood-workshop at full volume next to the ears, pushing up those stress levels to the limits; Especially when you want to do a task which requires full attention at hand.
Everyone with a smart phone is mostly connected 24/7 to various apps, like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Tumblr and (many) more. This gives the advantage to be reachable at all times, but also brings a burden to be “too much” connected to the on-line world, bringing extra sensory overloads through that (super fast) connection of your phone.
Most people want to (and can) be reachable 24/7, but with autism and ADHD, it has its perks, especially when being in a mental state where there is no more platform to communicate actively with other parties. Most people see real-time messaging as granted and can become mad when you do not respond (in a timely manner) to a message being sent to you, making the anxiety and stress only raise in level.
Continue reading “realtime messaging can be wonderful too!” →
I’ve always had that ‘unnatural’ shyness, which is bothering me more, the older I get. A few years ago, I found out it is merely a container-word, for so much more than having a red face and being unable to talk or initiate things.
It’s a container-word with many faces. Anxiety, not knowing how someone reacts, fear of rejection, shyness and often not being able to see or know what somebody thinks of my awkward behavior at that moment.
It creates a lot of friction, because I don’t want to be a bother or a problem to anyone. But yet, it does seem to bother a lot of people, unconsciously.. Continue reading “Why is it so difficult keeping contact?” →
Now, this one is a heavy one to come out with, because it is something which I am entirely not proud of. Not only is structural order a necessity in every modern house, but it is also the only way, to be able to receive people in a “clean” environment, without getting the instant thought of being a caveman or worse. Paperwork can already make a huge difference in that setting.
Less clutter is less input and will provide more focus, upon the essential. Continue reading “How I order paperwork structurally?” →
There’s always a great pun with me and idioms about time. A lot of people say that time flies, every second counts, time is money and other taglines. That’s all too great, if I had any concept of time! Especially when someone says to me “wait a minute”, I get that smile on my face and instantly think: “how long do you want that minute to be?”… Continue reading “How do I grasp time?” →
The mind is a strange but beautiful organ, which can do great things. Mine works great and different, with a high IQ when there is no stress at all. But as soon as that demon called stress comes knocking on my door, the house starts to shake on it’s grounds.
If there is one thing which I cannot state enough about this demon, is that stress is disastrous for autism combined with ADHD. When stress gets added to the mix, it has direct effect upon my processing power, sensitivity and thinking processes. My efficiency drops by large amounts the higher the stress becomes, rendering me sometimes not possible to function good in society. Continue reading “Coping with (insane) stress levels” →
Disorders do not always appear alone, but another one (or more) might be attached with it. For example, those with anxiety disorders may also suffer faster from depression. In the medical terminology this is known as a comorbidity. I also have a few extra comorbidities.
Continue reading “What is a comorbidity?” →
This solution was already a few times under discussions by my previous two psychiatrists, to help me finding some structure back, but tried to push away this medicine for as long as I could, because of the bad experiences with Rilatine and Concerta around my 23 years old. Because of a huge structural needs, it was time to try this again… Continue reading “Again on Rilatine! – medicine” →
I’ve experienced it as a heavy hammer falling from high on my head, after working for 12 years uninterrupted for 18-22 hours a day. Everything went dark, gray, impossible. Even a conversation with a friend was difficult. Searching for help was impossible, nothing was possible to do anymore. Continue reading “How a burn-out felt like” →
This time it was time to try Abilify, a medicine which is usually used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but which gave remarkable effects with a certain test-group of people with autism according my psychiatrist. It was given to me to treat anxiety and to get me a little bit more open towards communication with others. Continue reading “Abilify, my experience – medicine” →
This book explains a lot in detail what is going on in the mind of an autistic person. It is in many aspects so near to my experiences in life, that it became sort-of a guide or a bible, how I work inside my brain. I got to give credit to my psychiatrist for giving me the title to this great book called “Brein Bedriegt” by Peter Vermeulen.
You will be able to read a few rough translations straight from the book, that especially apply to me, but most likely also to a lot more autistic people, besides me. I have left many citations as whole, to be able to get the full context. This does not mean all the details in that citation will all apply upon me or any other person with autism. There are so many variants of autism and comorbidities, giving different results and behaviors.
If you are having autism or you are connected with it, this book is totally worth reading. It is for as far as I know only available in Dutch, so I have taken the liberty to translate the most important quotes, which I find most applicable towards me.. Continue reading “Brain Deceives (Brein Bedriegt) – Book” →
Dissect my brains, I am ready!
Today was that first day of many, which I was really frightened about. I was never that comfortable with people peeking inside my brain, knowing about my past, present and possible future. This research felt exactly the same as to get ready for that colonoscopy from hell and my bowels were already complaining their way out of that office… Continue reading “The diagnosis of Asperger and ADHD” →
My phone rang around ten in the morning about two years ago and received the dreadful diagnose of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). The result was to be expected, because my mom has ADHD in a heavy degree.
The doctor also suspected ASS (Autism Spectrum Syndrome) but had to be tested first before that conclusion could be taken. The thought that I could be autistic was scaring me at first. Continue reading “The first diagnose of ADHD” →