Tag: ADHD

Existenz | Human Rights & Existential Survival in maths!

Existenz | Human Rights & Existential Survival in maths!

The Birth of Human Rights and Existential Survival in Mathematical Form

Modified: 2026-07-29 | Created: 2026-06-20
Research Project Proposal: PROJECT EXISTENZ
Subtitle: Stateless Event-Driven 128-Bit Matrix for Low-Power Existential Forensic Reporting/Recording
Principal Architect: Gunther Voet (existenz@xsrv.net)
Target Research Group: Distributed Systems Engineering / Applied Cryptography and Privacy Labs
License: Open-Source Non-Commercial Freedom (The “Pay Up or Face the Math” Enterprise Provision)
Section: Spatiotemporal Biometric Convergence (SBC) Introspection, Classical Harmony & Mathematical Rights of Nature

Available through GitHub: https://github.com/gowildchild/Existenz

See the graphical version of it in a crude simulator here: https://gowildchild.github.io/Existenz/

1 | The Written Word and the Burden of Inheritance

To read thousands of books in one’s youth is not a passive act of consumption; it is an intense, multi-layered absorption of the human architectural template and all the workings around it. When a neurodivergent mind undergoes this level of hyper-focused immersion, the texts of the ancient masters cease to be mere ink on paper, but they become a visible representation, a living, geometric grid inside the brain. I carry a profound, unyielding respect for Pythagoras, Plato and the long line of ethical thinkers who brought these words across the centuries to my mind. They gave me the tools to look at the absolute chaos of human society and recognize it for what it truly is: a broken equation.

But at what cost? Carrying this inheritance while navigating an unfair world is a heavy burden.

Since 2012, I have watched bad actors, corporate entities and thousands of targeted threats try to exploit my AuDHD (Autism + ADHD) intelligence. They plundered me from my lifework by stealing the hard disks from my server in a hosting center in Amsterdam and hiding it under the shroud of ableism. Not only that, but they looked at a hyper-systemizing mind and saw an asset to strip, dry, and plunder. They started to attack me through the internet again, since 5 years ago, because they saw a second opportunity, facilitated by a sleeping government.

When the physical world fails you completely and when the legal systems designed to protect you turn out to be nothing but flexible, corruptible words, you are forced into the deepest quest for inner introspection. You must look inside your own consciousness and ask: Where does absolute truth hide when humanity refuses to speak it?

2 | The Death of Philosophy and the Rise of the Extremist Void

Philosophy is not an academic luxury; it is the absolute, foundational ethical standard required to keep a civilization from devouring itself. For showing where moral standards should be to keep the equations in harmony. Yet, in our modern landscape, philosophy has been completely undervalued, mocked and even discarded. Because society has abandoned the grueling, honest work of self-reflection, an immense moral vacuum has been created.

You got to understand something very realistic. You cannot be a realist, while being optimistic and pessimistic at the same time. Just like human rights are not at the ideal line of bit-16, which would be absolute. There always will have to be a grey area, for those that try to destroy the fabrics of civilization.

Continue reading “Existenz | Human Rights & Existential Survival in maths!” →

My biggest dream? To get paid for my talent instead of being robbed for it!

Daily writing prompt
What’s your biggest dream?
View all responses

To have recognition for my talents instead of just being robbed for it.

If you read this, it means you still live in a civilization that foolishly relies on things like “laws,” “government treaties,” and “institutional integrity” to protect human rights and intellectual property. Let us disabuse you of those comforting illusions immediately. Human beings are a chaotic, deeply flawed and highly corruptible species. When individuals or institutions are handed power, their immediate evolutionary instinct is not to protect the vulnerable, but to abuse that power, steal what isn’t theirs, and manufacture a convenient lie to cover their tracks.

Traditional security models operate on the naive premise of a “trusted third party.” You are told to trust your government, trust your hosting provider and trust the justice system. But what happens when the state actors themselves become the predators?

What happens when outside hostile actors spend five consecutive years launching over 5,000 targeted threats to steal more of your software, weaponizing systemic ableism to gaslight neurodivergent creators, because society’s legal frameworks are too inefficient, slow, too stupid or even too corrupt to stop them?

Or because they just choose not to listen because of ableism?

In 2012, a group of thieves physically stole my hard drives from a data-center in Amsterdam, containing the earliest iterations of the algorithms which I am now releasing to the public, just to show the world what a person with AuDHD can make, the value of it and especially one of the more important things to me: to help society, to help and grow, protect.

Let us begin at the absolute baseline of reality: human beings are thieves, institutions are blind, and the only reason you are reading this whitepaper is that a group of uncreative corporate bottom-feeders decided to mistake a neurodivergent creator’s brilliance for a free buffet.

Continue reading “My biggest dream? To get paid for my talent instead of being robbed for it!” →

The Master Key: Why Music Reaches Me When a Hug Cannot

The Master Key: Why Music Reaches Me When a Hug Cannot

Writer’s note: After a long, unexpected break from blogging, I am stepping back into this space. Thank you to those who are here to listen, connect, and explore the deep complexities of the autistic mind with me.

So, Do you know what frisson is?

I didn’t know until I was searching for an explanation of an emotion I call “deeply crying inside.” This feeling always gets triggered when I listen to the violin and contrabass. I get the exact same reaction when listening to a live choir, to the extent that I could literally cry.

This profound connection to sound was probably one of the reasons why I was a DJ for over a decade; I realized this emotional energy was transferable to a crowd. Maybe I even need to start doing that again, while I still have the full use of my ears…

High-functioning autism often causes an intense emotional and physical reaction to music known as frisson. This is characterized by hyper-connectivity between the auditory and emotional processing centers in the brain. Stringed instruments like the contrabass and violin mimic human vocal emotional frequencies, triggering this deep reaction and leading to profound emotional releases. It is most often triggered by strings and choral music. Specific musical elements, such as the human vocal range (150–4,000 Hz), tense appoggiaturas (notes that create temporary musical tension), and resonant low frequencies, trigger these profound responses. Tracks like Max Richter’s “On the Nature of Daylight” and Hans Zimmer’s “Time” utilize these exact techniques to create intense, “bittersweet” experiences.

Continue reading “The Master Key: Why Music Reaches Me When a Hug Cannot” →

realtime messaging can be wonderful too!

realtime messaging can be wonderful too!

Real-time messaging has been a great invention for many of us, except, when the time is not right, those messages could get more annoying than a wood-workshop at full volume next to the ears, pushing up those stress levels to the limits; Especially when you want to do a task which requires full attention at hand.

Everyone with a smart phone is mostly connected 24/7 to various apps, like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Tumblr and (many) more. This gives the advantage to be reachable at all times, but also brings a burden to be “too much” connected to the on-line world, bringing extra sensory overloads through that (super fast) connection of your phone.

Most people want to (and can) be reachable 24/7, but with autism and ADHD, it has its perks, especially when being in a mental state where there is no more platform to communicate actively with other parties. Most people see real-time messaging as granted and can become mad when you do not respond (in a timely manner) to a message being sent to you, making the anxiety and stress only raise in level.

Continue reading “realtime messaging can be wonderful too!” →

How I order paperwork structurally?

How I order paperwork structurally?

Now, this one is a heavy one to come out with, because it is something which I am entirely not proud of. Not only is structural order a necessity in every modern house, but it is also the only way, to be able to receive people in a “clean” environment, without getting the instant thought of being a caveman or worse. Paperwork can already make a huge difference in that setting.

Less clutter is less input and will provide more focus, upon the essential. Continue reading “How I order paperwork structurally?” →

How do I grasp time?

How do I grasp time?

There’s always a great pun with me and idioms about time. A lot of people say that time flies, every second counts, time is money and other taglines. That’s all too great, if I had any concept of time! Especially when someone says to me “wait a minute”, I get that smile on my face and instantly think: “how long do you want that minute to be?”… Continue reading “How do I grasp time?” →

Coping with (insane) stress levels

Coping with (insane) stress levels

The mind is a strange but beautiful organ, which can do great things. Mine works great and different, with a high IQ when there is no stress at all. But as soon as that demon called stress comes knocking on my door, the house starts to shake on it’s grounds.

If there is one thing which I cannot state enough about this demon, is that stress is disastrous for autism combined with ADHD. When stress gets added to the mix, it has direct effect upon my processing power, sensitivity and thinking processes. My efficiency drops by large amounts the higher the stress becomes, rendering me sometimes not possible to function good in society. Continue reading “Coping with (insane) stress levels” →

Again on Rilatine! – medicine

Again on Rilatine! – medicine

This solution was already a few times under discussions by my previous two psychiatrists, to help me finding some structure back, but tried to push away this medicine for as long as I could, because of the bad experiences with Rilatine and Concerta around my 23 years old. Because of a huge structural needs, it was time to try this again… Continue reading “Again on Rilatine! – medicine” →

How to shower most efficiently?

How to shower most efficiently?

Showering is quite an important fact in life, we cannot disagree upon that and since I live alone, it has to happen economically, efficiently and ecologically; in short: to not waste too much water (and money) on a daily base.

Because I got no time concept, I can stand under my shower for ten minutes but also for an hour, depending how cold it is outside and maybe because the position of the planets with the sun, who knows?!

Basically, there is no real indicator of time in my bathroom, till it got me thinking for solutions. It didn’t only get me thinking how to shower most efficiently, but also if my showering routine was sufficient enough towards general hygiene.. Continue reading “How to shower most efficiently?” →

Agression by NS personnel on train!

Agression by NS personnel on train!

Today something very tragic happened on the train from Antwerpen to Den Haag (train 1222 from 10:36). The conductor went totally out of line, because he assumed I was an east-European guy without a ticket; so it escalated from verbal violence straight to physical violence and an unlawful arrest by the authorities. This is a rough translation.

Part 1: Yelling to me for my ticket?..

Conductor: Hey, you there, Ticket!
Me: Ok, moment <while taking off my backpack>
Conductor: No! TICKET NOW!!
Me: hey! May I maybe take it?!
Conductor: I saw you moving from behind to the front, your TICKET NOW IMMEDIATELY!!
Me: I was searching a place to sit and am having a phone call, what is going on?!? Continue reading “Agression by NS personnel on train!” →

The diagnosis of Asperger and ADHD

The diagnosis of Asperger and ADHD

Dissect my brains, I am ready!

Today was that first day of many, which I was really frightened about. I was never that comfortable with people peeking inside my brain, knowing about my past, present and possible future. This research felt exactly the same as to get ready for that colonoscopy from hell and my bowels were already complaining their way out of that office… Continue reading “The diagnosis of Asperger and ADHD” →

ADHD is an invention (by Jerome Kagan)

One of the biggest psychologists on the world has been interviewed about his book “Psychology’s Ghost”, which can be found in Der Spiegel and the Belgian Knack. This is the English version, which is too important to be ignored. 

Harvard psychologist Jerome Kagan is one of the world’s leading experts in child development. 

In a SPIEGEL interview, he offers a scathing critique of the mental-health establishment and pharmaceutical companies, accusing them of incorrectly classifying millions as mentally ill out of self-interest and greed. Jerome Kagan can look back on a brilliant career as a researcher in psychology. Still, when he contemplates his field today, he is overcome with melancholy and unease. He compares it with a wonderful antique wooden chest: Once, as a student, he had taken it upon himself to restore the chest with his colleagues. He took one of its drawers home himself and spent his entire professional life whittling, shaping and sanding it. Finally, he wanted to return the drawer to the chest, only to realize that the piece of furniture had rotted in the meantime. If anyone has the professional expertise and moral authority to compare psychology to a rotten piece of furniture, it is Kagan. A ranking of the 100 most eminent psychologists of the 20th century published by a group of US academics in 2002 put Kagan in 22nd place, even above Carl Jung (23rd), the founder of analytical psychology, and Ivan Pavlov (24th), who discovered the reflex bearing his name.  Continue reading “ADHD is an invention (by Jerome Kagan)” →