While they seek AI light, time flies in darkness!

While they seek AI light, time flies in darkness!

It’s a profound, cosmic joke that you can spend an entire lifetime elegantly solving the structural anomalies of everything and everyone around you, yet your own operating system remains one of the absolute hardest to debug. We don’t need to hand out cheap, trendy clinical labels like AuDHD to everyone just to buy a ticket to this circus.

Let’s be entirely honest from start will we? While standard neuro-typical brains are out there, casually running on social auto-pilot, ours is forced to manually calculate the amount of tiles on the floor, amount of weird bottles in the room and/or the real-time settings of an entire room, as a stimming way.

While conformists are out there playing simple checkers with social cues, my system has been running strict, multi-dimensional logic gates since the age of seven. But naturally, the world doesn’t want my raw, unyielding Modulo-2 math. It wants sugar-coating. It wants a fluffy and compliant little narrative with the best rendering of a digital cherry on top, just to keep the shareholders smiling.

Continue reading “While they seek AI light, time flies in darkness!”

How do I grasp time?

How do I grasp time?

There’s always a great pun with me and idioms about time. A lot of people say that time flies, every second counts, time is money and other taglines. That’s all too great, if I had any concept of time! Especially when someone says to me “wait a minute”, I get that smile on my face and instantly think: “how long do you want that minute to be?”… Continue reading “How do I grasp time?”

Again on Rilatine! – medicine

Again on Rilatine! – medicine

This solution was already a few times under discussions by my previous two psychiatrists, to help me finding some structure back, but tried to push away this medicine for as long as I could, because of the bad experiences with Rilatine and Concerta around my 23 years old. Because of a huge structural needs, it was time to try this again… Continue reading “Again on Rilatine! – medicine”