I’ve always had that ‘unnatural’ shyness, which is bothering me more, the older I get. A few years ago, I found out it is merely a container-word, for so much more than having a red face and being unable to talk or initiate things.
It’s a container-word with many faces. Anxiety, not knowing how someone reacts, fear of rejection, shyness and often not being able to see or know what somebody thinks of my awkward behavior at that moment.
It creates a lot of friction, because I don’t want to be a bother or a problem to anyone. But yet, it does seem to bother a lot of people, unconsciously.. Continue reading “Why is it so difficult keeping contact?”
Yesterday, I had this horrible thing happening to me again and it went way quicker than expected. I’ve already felt that the pressure was becoming too much, when my brain started to scream “STOP” towards me, but also to the people around me. It was a truly embarrassing situation, which I had been pushed into!
To avoid over-stimulation and early fatigue, I pre-order every week 2 * 6 liters of biological 3.5% fat milk, because their brand is one of the only ones, which does not turn my stomach and intestinal system into a full war-zone. As many people with autism, I got a condition in my intestinal system. Also, I was quite sick for over a week, with fever and heavy medicines, because of an urinary tract problem, making my left nut being bigger than the size of a Dinosaur-egg! That pain is indescribably high. Continue reading “Our world is not ready for autism yet..”
There it was, end of May, I had a total thermo-nuclear meltdown. I had this only about a dozen times before in my life, but when it hits me, it hits me really hard.
I had many symptoms which make me a bit worried, but which explains a lot of things which happened in the past too. Continue reading “A full meltdown in detail ..”
This is a temporary post, noticing you that there will be a lot more to write about…
If you got a specific topic which you got questions about, feel free to ask below and I will most likely add it to the list. Expect these topics to come up soon:
- 90% of our inventions are made by autists?
- Why is it so difficult to keep contact or friends?
- Relationships, how does it work?
- Creativity, my source of tranquility!
- Comedy, my way of communication
- Restaurants, busy places and me…
- Going to university, a total horror story
- Whatever happens, stay positive!
- Loud sounds, a love-hate relationship
- When aggression gets too much for me
- When medicines are not enough
- Anxiety and Alprazolam – Medicine
Have a nice day!
Disorders do not always appear alone, but another one (or more) might be attached with it. For example, those with anxiety disorders may also suffer faster from depression. In the medical terminology this is known as a comorbidity. I also have a few extra comorbidities.
Continue reading “What is a comorbidity?”
This book explains a lot in detail what is going on in the mind of an autistic person. It is in many aspects so near to my experiences in life, that it became sort-of a guide or a bible, how I work inside my brain. I got to give credit to my psychiatrist for giving me the title to this great book called “Brein Bedriegt” by Peter Vermeulen.
You will be able to read a few rough translations straight from the book, that especially apply to me, but most likely also to a lot more autistic people, besides me. I have left many citations as whole, to be able to get the full context. This does not mean all the details in that citation will all apply upon me or any other person with autism. There are so many variants of autism and comorbidities, giving different results and behaviors.
If you are having autism or you are connected with it, this book is totally worth reading. It is for as far as I know only available in Dutch, so I have taken the liberty to translate the most important quotes, which I find most applicable towards me.. Continue reading “Brain Deceives (Brein Bedriegt) – Book”