I’ve experienced it as a heavy hammer falling from high on my head, after working for 12 years uninterrupted for 18-22 hours a day. Everything went dark, gray, impossible. Even a conversation with a friend was difficult. Searching for help was impossible, nothing was possible to do anymore. Continue reading “How a burn-out felt like”
That burning feeling,
I can’t sleep at night,
Looking at the ceiling,
Had a nice future at sight,
Love couldn’t keep us together,
No fighting to survive,
No talking made it wither,
It went dead after being so alive.. Continue reading “Love is not autistic”
This time it was time to try Abilify, a medicine which is usually used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but which gave remarkable effects with a certain test-group of people with autism according my psychiatrist. It was given to me to treat anxiety and to get me a little bit more open towards communication with others. Continue reading “Abilify, my experience – medicine”
This book explains a lot in detail what is going on in the mind of an autistic person. It is in many aspects so near to my experiences in life, that it became sort-of a guide or a bible, how I work inside my brain. I got to give credit to my psychiatrist for giving me the title to this great book called “Brein Bedriegt” by Peter Vermeulen.
You will be able to read a few rough translations straight from the book, that especially apply to me, but most likely also to a lot more autistic people, besides me. I have left many citations as whole, to be able to get the full context. This does not mean all the details in that citation will all apply upon me or any other person with autism. There are so many variants of autism and comorbidities, giving different results and behaviors.
If you are having autism or you are connected with it, this book is totally worth reading. It is for as far as I know only available in Dutch, so I have taken the liberty to translate the most important quotes, which I find most applicable towards me.. Continue reading “Brain Deceives (Brein Bedriegt) – Book”
Dissect my brains, I am ready!
Today was that first day of many, which I was really frightened about. I was never that comfortable with people peeking inside my brain, knowing about my past, present and possible future. This research felt exactly the same as to get ready for that colonoscopy from hell and my bowels were already complaining their way out of that office… Continue reading “The diagnosis of Asperger and ADHD”
My life as autist 